Updated: Oct 20
When it comes to developing respectable character, some of the most important qualities to cultivate in oneself are honesty, integrity, and trust. Honesty is something one should cultivate and employ to the best of one's ability. Trust is a respect that forms between two or more parties or individuals based on a mutual understanding between them that each is being honest and respectful to their word and actions in any given relationship. This trust then solidifies the integrity of each party or individual involved and allows for peaceful, mutual respect of the other. Being honest is important when it comes to peace and good relations. Honesty is the mark of a genuine person.
Peaceful relations are guided by trust and honesty. When one is being dishonest to the other, it opens up the doors to deep resentment, but worst of all, the bond of trust dissolves with it, weakens the link and established relations between them. In national conflicts, this breaking of trust oftentimes serves as the pretext for further conflict, ending diplomacy, trade, even bringing with it the start of hostile relations and war. When one feels betrayed, there is a natural tendency to react, and this is oftentimes done in a deeply emotional and impulsive manner, making relations between the two extremely fragile and harder to repair. This was especially the case with Germany and the United States in the First World War. The collective example between nations is but a macrocosm of the microcosm, that is, the same essential qualities and nature within trust are of the same or similar nature. The breaking of trust sows doubt in future relations once the trust has been broken or weakened. It is for these reasons that being true to one's word is very important in keeping peaceful relations between two parties, stable and maintained.
That being said, it is understandable that on occasions one side or other commits to something that unexpectedly changes and cannot be fulfilled or fails to take place, due to unforeseen obstacles or problems in which things are not able to move forward as scheduled. These kinds of things are understandable and should be understood by the other party. In other words, things don't always work out as planned. However, it is in the deliberate misleading from the intention that what was agreed upon that hurts trust. It is when agreed-upon obligations are knowingly not to be fulfilled by the one party, without the other knowing this is the case, which is different than when unexpected obstacles prevent them from happening. It is this action that serves as a case in point, a deliberate intent of dishonesty that wounds the trust and integrity between two parties. This can be between individuals, countries, or groups of people in which trust has been established, and could dissolve it completely.
Some of the deceiving is done with ulterior motives and a lack of respect for the other party, but there are also cases in which deception is used with the intention to shield the other party from hurt, and although they do it with the intention of not harming the other, it greatly affects an established trust in the same manner. If the other party were to learn of it, it would establish a position of being lied to, and this sets the tone later on in which they cannot be sure if they are being lied to or given the truth. It does not matter if the intention was good or ill-mannered, the establishment of trust was based on whether they were being given honesty or truth in an established relationship.
Having to question whether one is being told the truth or lies in later events is something that would cause great strain and doubt in one's mind. It causes them to have to have to repeatedly question whether they are being lied to, and this strain can be a stress that significantly harms them, perhaps significantly more so than the case in which they would have been hurt from the actual truth being kept from them to shield them. For myself, I would much rather be told the truth, regardless of whether it hurt me or not, than to be shielded from it with lies. Lies are lies, regardless of the context.
When it comes to relationships, friendships, and matters of business between parties, nothing holds more importance between them than honesty, which establishes the basis of trust, and trust serves as the basis for all other matters between the two. Without one's word being true and honest, there can be nothing genuine established. It should serve as a prerequisite quality in the bond between anyone. Trust is the most important quality that links any relationship. It is the bridge between them in which truthful communication allows for smooth paving in further roads. Honesty is a foundation and prerequisite for building a more concrete future.
As I've stated in other articles on being a man, respectful for women is a major tenet in being a man. That is to say, trust and honesty are essential to the respect of another woman. That should always come into play in any relationship with another woman. Faithfulness and loyalty are traits to cultivated with care, because it is in this loyalty and respect that produce a genuine Heart. This is not to say that it should not be applied to other relationships like friendships, business, or whatever the case, but that in being respectful to women, as men, it is our duty to honor our commitments on a basis of honesty and trust.
To do otherwise would be disrespectful and disingenuous, if nothing else, honoring one's word should be essential to being a man of solid character. Being a man is to lead by example, and it is this example we must seek to position ourselves to be in line with. If the balance inherent and stable between a man and woman are to be restored, these qualities should serve as a good starting point. As I said before, you don't have to be religious to cultivate a life of moral standing, it just takes care, compassion, and will-power.
Being dishonest and unfaithful is not only disrespectful to the other person, it is a mark on one's own integrity. It does not matter if the deceived know they are being deceived or not, or if one thinks it is of no consequence. It is of consequence, and the subconscious mind is aware of this. This portion of the Self is aware and keeps note of it, which in turn, is connected to its larger collective ocean of the All, that is, the Universal Mind in which we operate. When one takes advantage of another person's trust, the result is essentially that one fools him/herself in the process. The subconscious mind understands that the ego-driven Self is being untrue, dishonest, and begins to shape the world they live in the same likeness.
The liar becomes the lie. Their life begins to reflect the web of their own deception, and sooner or later the walls of Truth close in on them and they are faced with the realization of their own deceit. It may not unfold in the immediate sense, but in the laws of karma, that is, the law of cause and effect, the pendulum swings in the equal, opposite direction to atone for the imbalance. The Hands of Time will always deliver.
All of this can be averted and altogether avoided by the practice of honesty and trust. Aim to be genuine in all one does. Try to avoid things like gossip, that is, try to avoid speaking ill of others behind their back, be upfront with people rather than scheming outside of their awareness. It is understandable that we've all succumbed to these practices in some form or another, but they can be overcome through self-awareness and practice. So unto others as you would expect for yourself. These are aspects of this reality that we have control over and can change. If everyone were to practice things like this more often, the world would see a more harmonious future. The whole point of this website, I set up to try and help others understand how the mind operates in shaping reality, in the hopes that we can begin to take some responsibility in making the world just a little less chaotic and more tolerable for everyone living here.